bitchier n ditchier

another day. holy fuck.
well i woke u and saw my dad for the 2nd time since before the summer. and he was in middle of some fight with my mother. why dont they accept it that theyr never getting back together? theyr the worst couple ever ,i cant stand it much longer. i was about to fucken blow up in their faces but i was in too much of a rush. so i go dressed and went with D to pick up M.
we got to school ontime for the first time in quite sometime. so we went to the dome- where evryone goes in the time before bells and talks. so me D M I M J J and some poeple were talking. and jen comes up and shes like "oo guys i heard some shit you did in france. taking after the parents are we? haahha" WTF. is that funny at all? so since im never in a rush when it comes to school- i blew up. i was like "who the fuck do you think you are? you stupid bitch! go suck judahs dick again! or some other guys! everyone uses u for play anyways you fucken ass". and i stormed away. i ran to the bathroom to cry. that was just not the time for her to say something like that. i get that my parents are fucked up. and for her to stoop that low ,and Ms parents also. and believe me -theres enough rumors going around about us an france as it is. i heard like 100people saying the stupidest shit ever. poeples lives are just so pathetic that they need to make up shit about other poeple. so M and Joshua came and found me in the bathroom (yea i know girls bathrooom- o well) and they were making me feel better and said we could ditch 4th and go to the park. so nothing cheers me up like having something to look foward to.
so finally after sleeping and texting threw 3 piriods- i met up with M joshua danny jake connor ian and marenelli. (jen was sure as hell not coming! saw her in the hall few times and death stared her. shell come crawling back to say sorry b.c she knows im having partys next week- o yea aobu tthat- my moms going to some island with "someone" so me and brandon get the house to ourselves! can you say houseparty?). so we walked to the park and someone brought hookahs so we did some hookah and we were hanging out. some poeople went off to do their own thing. talking and all. and i really wanted to talk with joshua. but i was dieing to talk to ian for a little. so i asked ian if we could talk and we walked to a bench and talked. i was yelling at him saying why does he say we cant do weed and is always soo against it, pushing so hard for everyone not to do it and then does it so suddenly? -he was stoned right then! sucha piss off. then all he could answer was "double standards. gils shouldnt do it, its just bad looking for them. noone cares if guys do it" then i was saying how its sucha stupid time for him to start this habbit. he needs to get into college and he has everything going for him, being captain of water polo he can get in on scholarship. hes brilliant an funny and cool and when hes stoned hes anoying. he kinda understood but he was pissing me off and frusterating me and i didnt need that. so i said wed finish this some other time when hes not stoned.
i went back to where people were smoking and sat down. then joshua looked at me and patted is lap- all come hither. ooo sexy. so i went over. we were smoking and shottying and then we h.u and he picked me up and brought me over to this bench place. we were sitting(intertwined) and hes like- i wanna take u out somewhere nice. and i agreed. but i dont know. i really cant imagine just being with someone right now. i love joshua. LOVE him. but i cant do that hole deal now. its too much. i cant be watching everythng i do . this is top party year- and next year. i dont know where this is going- but well just go with the flow. then we talked and only had like 15min left so went back to where everyone was sitting. and i told them about my mom leaving the house to me and my brother so houseparty- dont plan anything else next week. im so excited.
then went back to school. and the guys went back into class b.c they had some meeting with there athletic department things. so me and the girls decided we needed some sirious shoping. so we headed straight to the stores. back to the good old times. just endless shopping at barneys, bringing the hole store into the dressing room , getting everyones opinions on what we had on. so got a lott of stuff for fall and winter. and got some dresses for these dances and events coming up. also gt some miniskirts ,shorts and jeens and stuff like that for school and party next week. and if theirs a party- theres one thing i cant leave the store without. HOT bras and thongs. so im set for that. plus my moms gonna bring home shitload of stuff from where ever she is- because she thinks the stuff will fit her and then she realizes shes not a teenager and gives them to me.
anywho went back to school. then last piriod went to Ms house and her mom was being fucked up and all so we bounced to the met steps. talked a lot. about everything. how we dont know what to do with our guy situation. its fun to have a guy there for you, someone you love (hence joshua!) but its fun to flirt with the rnaodm guys and go to marenellis house when your balling ur eyes out and have him just snuggle with you and get you into pajamas and comfort you. itd just never be the same. we were talking about that time we were out in the rain with marenelli and we were all soaked and dirty and gross and just went into his house and striped and jumped into his parnts jacuzzi and drank our hearts out. stuff like that would never be able to hapen- even if it just friends. itd b soo different.
then i went home afterwards. and jen called me spewing about how shes sorry. i could hear rebecca in the backround feeding her some lines. wtf. i was in middle of yelling at jen and in comes my mom. she started emptying out all my closets and dumping al my clothes on the floor. im like wtf are u doing. shes like "jordana darling. please dont be difficult! i need summer things for my trip" im like "ok no! im in middle of something get out now!" then she said shes not letting me have the house next week when shes gone unless i let her take my stuff and all. so i shutu nd stormed out of there. grabbed my toothbrush and left. i met brandon on my way out of the building. i told him im going to sleep out. he was with some girl, so i didnt really wanna give him details and freek the shit outa her. so i called joshua and he said to come to his place. so i jumped in a cab.
got to his house and we went to his room. and i cryed in his arms for like an hour. omg wtfs wrong with me! ive cryed more in the past few days then, ever! the finally i was all cryed out and we went to his hot tub. i didnt exactly pack for a whole 2year trip here so bra and underwear had to do. then we got in and guess what? we started h.u surprise. then his brother walked in. hes prob like 18 or 19. so awkward. but he didnt even look at us wierd or anything. hes like u guys wanna drink or something? and i was about to say yes but then me and joshua made eye contact and he had that hole "we dont need drinks to have fun" look. so we just said no and he left. so wierd we never really hangout at his apartment tho. its gorgeous. but enough about that- we we were hookingup. then he undid my bra and off that came. it was so agressive and hott. we were like grabbing eacthoer and omg thats my favorite kind of h.u sesion! and then off came our bottoms and he did the handjob, finger thing. omg amazing. so hot in the water. so then he got towels and we went to the shower and showered -together ofcorse. and then dryed off and i wore one of his shirts. we went to his bed -which is amazing! comfortable! so wierd that all this time together weve done so much shit in other peoples beds, but never his! first time for everything...
then we started talking. and i asked about his family b.c his brother came in before and ive never seen anyone from his family. so he told me so much. weve spoken about this before but not in some time and i guess a lot happened or maybe he just could finally tell me this stuff? he said his dad abused his mom and hes like alcholic. but hes in rehab now. it was so sad. whats hapned to this world? i havent splet in forever so i must have just fell asleep on him. because next thing i know i felt him kiss me and i opened my eyes.